Tuesday 17 January 2012

in the meantime

Since my course started 3 weeks ago I've been meaning to write about my new experiences as a student so far.  I am determined to document these upcoming years and all joys and tears they bring into my life.  I expect regular updates won't be easy as time is limited even for must-do things; the books I want/need to read are already in piles but still untouched, and I'm dying to spend my days with looking at photos, reading essays and reflect on what I've seen and read.  All of these need time so blogging must wait but I will try my best to keep on top of it as much as I can and share 'my adventure'.
So far I wanted to write about our introduction visit to Manchester Museum where we are going to spend more time during later semesters because the museum regularly use photography students for documenting their different projects.  I think it is a great partnership between the course and Manchester Museum and I look forward to spending more time in there.
I also wanted to write about our modules; Mondays are for technical, Tuesdays are for the ever so fascinating history and context and on Wednesdays we focus on the creative aspects.  The latter is actually about the different projects we will complete during the semester; practicalities and researches we go through in order to create our own images and telling our stories.  Today, during group tutorial, we discussed our first project's initial ideas for the topic - Environment.  I can honestly tell, apart from my favourite module on Tuesdays, today was the best day for me.  We finally opened up a little bit and talked about our ideas.  Before today we didnt share anything about our own art, which is understandable, but I was looking forward to think together and share opinions about a certain topic and how do we see and translate it.  I really enjoy getting to know my group members through their ideas about this project; introducing ourselves to each other this way is very exciting.
As for me, I find talking about my previous photos difficult because I feel I am in the middle of a process where what I've done before not necessarily defines me anymore..or at least not fully, especially my photos from 3-4 years ago.  The new fields I've been trying out in the last year or two are still new and I am not confident with them just yet.  I am in the middle, or has just started?, searching my own style and vision and finding out what I am capable to do creatively.  I think this is the best time for experiments and my course will give me the opportunity to challenge this, face myself and my strenghts and weaknesses.  I already know what sort of issues I might be struggling with but I also know positive and negative surprises will come.  From all the little worries however, I most fear those days when I am not able to think creatively and when I find myself without ideas.  That will be very hard to cope with.  However I know everyone has the same fears and worries so I am not different from any art student or even from already practicing artists
I really mean to blog regularly about what happens but certainly at least once a week would be a real achievement in my case.  Next blog will be up soon, I already know what I'd like to write about...in the meantime I am just posting some recently scanned Holga images.  Still my practice days with Holga...but I think I am getting better.

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